Missing my Monkey......

This has been an UNreal month, a can't believe we're already at the end of it.  On February 11th I lost someone who was my everything, when he took his own life.  What we were was hard to define, best friends maybe ...boyfriends.....lovers.....all I knew was my love for him and his for me.  That was all that was important.

My mind still can't fully wrap around how someone so happy and full of light and love could come to a decision like this.  Daniel was someone that everyone gravitated to, I was jealous at times of how easily he just connected with and maintained connections with people.  He would always be coming from a dinner with some friend or another.  He had traveled all over the world and made a life for himself working with some major stylists in New York, and yet came from a small farm town in California and was only twenty-four years old.

He cared for me so much, and loved me so much, sometimes to the point where he forgot himself.  He's been my rock, my support, my critic, my cheerleader and I've lived almost every moment of my free time with him for the last year.  My heart hurts like I've never known before.  I first thought that this strike to my heart had to have been an accident, like there could have been some other way.  But because of the way the events of that night happened, I have to believe that there was a higher power watching over so many of us.  I won't give you the details of it all.  But I know that we are all unfinished works of a master stonecutter, and the process of making a diamond involves many precise and careful strong blows.  Daniel's life was a work of art, beautiful....he wove so many people together, this final blow was the strike that completed a precious jewel.
I believe my baby is home now, in some incredibly beautiful place.  And until that day when the crafting of this stone is finished, I will have an angel with me to watch over me like he always did in this life.

What I've learned most from the past few weeks is that in this great world filled with so many people, we are all essentially alone.  No one can be in your head nor can you be in anyone else's, our thoughts are our own.  We can only share as much as we choose to confess or are able to articulate.  But in this respect we are all united, this is what we all share.  I urge everyone to reach out to the people in their life and communicate, if you are having troubling thoughts.....let it out.......it's the only way your friends and family can help you.  Don't be ashamed of yourself or your thoughts, just be yourself and love openly.  TRUTH is an amazing thing.  There was another suicide last week by someone not extremely close to me but someone that I always saw out and around, and who was dating a good friend.  I could have easily come up to talk to him many times but for some silly reason I never did.  We need to wake up.  The community here in New York is hurting.  We need to LOVE each other as brothers for the inner LIGHT and connection we all have, in our aloneness there is oneness.


Missin you like Candy

It's been a long time since I've posted, I know.  Over the past few months I've been busy getting things together for a new club that just opened in New York called XL, along with work and school, I forgot to blog.  If you're not from New York or haven't heard the news, there's a new dance den in Gotham, it sits in the belly of a gay resort opening this March.  It's big.....like HUGE and has an incredible sound system, LED light panels, 2 story bathroom with mezzanine....what more can you want. Oh and I've been collecting the sexiest dancers I can find to fill the stages. 

I was really beginning to miss taking pictures, but it just so happened that the other week some new pieces came out for Slick It Up that needed taken out for spin.  Check out these shots of the Candy Cobra, we had a lot of fun taking them, don't have too much fun looking at them.

And here's a little something I thought of while making this post.....It really takes me back to an odd time and place.  But somehow it's fitting.

The Slice is Big in Europe.....

Some sexy european porn stars getting down with my old favorite.